Today, I came across a photograph that I took exactly 3 years ago, yesterday (12/18/2006). I don't take many photos, but I just so happened to take one yesterday (12/18/2009). I was astonished by my transformation in three years time. It's comforting to know that the transformation from girl to woman is evident on the inside as well as outside.
19 December 2009
Change IV a dollar
30 November 2009
Dope Find of the Day
Story time.
[I apologize in advance for my derailed train of thought]
I was leaving a friend's house today and it was so cold outside that I had the oddest urge to smoke a cigarette. I've never smoked a "Loosey/Lucy" (lol) in my life so I wouldn't even know if they warmed one up or not. That thought, in turn, reminded me that the majority of artistic people and their imagery utilize cigarettes. Artsy people are pretty fucked up mentally, perhaps the tobacco provides some stimulating depressant. Hm. At any rate. I continued my thought for a few minutes more and almost peer pressured my damn self into thinking smoking would make me look "more artsy". And then I snapped out of it and came to the conclusion that cigarettes are only sexy in photography, more specifically, that of high fashion.
Besides, kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
And then, after all of that, I come across this today:
Bizarre, right?
Enjoy.
She should be holding a cigarette.
22 November 2009
Be Inspired
Supermodel Daul Kim, one of the most recognizable faces of Chanel, Alexander McQueen and others, is yet another victim of the pressures of beauty in our culture. She was found hanging in her Parisian apartment on November 19th. This is especially haunting to me not only because I am currently building my journalistic portolio and am doing a piece on this very subject, but because this seemingly acclimated young woman was exactly one year younger than me, born on May 31, 1989. I have always been affected by this subject because being so enveloped in such a narcissistic industry the lack of reality is, all too often, distorted and ultimately, very jading. This 20 year old woman won't have the opportunity to explore all of life's opportunities because sadly, once you [seemingly] have all the keys to life's doors, there's nothing left to explore.
What would you do if you could see everything?
I'd learn to close my eyes.
“I wore high high heels and short short skirts
to hide my depression and weakness
tried to hide my loneliness by hornyness
tried to deny how predictable my patterns are”
-daul kim
06 November 2009
26 October 2009
30 September 2009
Change IV a Dollar
Greetings, my faithful readers..
Seeing as you have been so patient with my development, as well as my blog's, I would like to give you a little more insight of the woman on the other side of the screen. If you're not interested, please disregard.
In the last few months, I have experienced many changes; all of which left me either an emotional basketcase, spontaneously blissful, vulnerable, responsibly irresponsible, or dead broke. My sister has gotten married (Still, wow.) & our relationship is constantly strengthening, I landed an amazing position working with kids, and a vast chapter in my life has, since, passed but with it came an overwhelming, positive outlook on my life & future. It's funny how one becomes so adjusted to the smoke that they only realize they couldn't see 10 steps in front of them until the smoke has cleared. And although my future is not completely visible, it is becoming clearer. Until then, I am taking all of the necessary steps to ensure I am ready to hit the ground running. I, once, heard that luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
I am bursting at the seams with motivation and enthusiasm. Lately, I've been inspired by absolutely everything; a very invaluable feeling. I'm learning how to channel my emotions, rather than bottle them, to accept my quirky flaws as a component of my character, and to accept responsiblity even if it is that of someone else. Why, yes. I am high off life (fuck it, I'm wasted).
I find that I laugh too loudly, I'm only sociable when it is convenient for me, I take people for granted, I'm almost always pessimistic, and that I am too impatient with those who do not think the way I do.
So.What.
I have tried new things, spoke to new people, expanded my horizons, done things I would normally refuse to do, walked aimlessly, smiled without purpose, and have opened up to more people in the last 3 months than I have done in 5 years.
I'm on this whole "PRO-LIFE" kick; which can make me pretty annoying from time to time. No, I'm not always optimistic or in high spirits but I am always genuine and looking forward. I'd like for you to be a part of my journey.
I recently purchased what has become one of my most impactful purchases. Once used as a coping mechanism, it quickly grew into an entirely new approach to life & gaining what it is I am seeking.
It reminds me, on a daily basis, to sever the ties that bind me. It is never too late to rebuild burned bridges, forgive, forget, accept, rekindle, restart, or redo. Personally, professionally, emotionally, scholastically, whatever.
Find the beauty in every day, my friends.
Signed,
ChangeIV
25 September 2009
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